steffie's update

good news or bad news first?

GOODNEWS
im going to aussssiiieeeee to visit YOU! yeow wen kat jovy david etc etc
july 1st till14th perth, adelaide,sydney,melbourne,then brisbane. renaldo and i,we're really excited bout this. we'll be visiting his relatives, lots of our friends there.
oh and jovy's post made me laugh :)

i wish i was a doctor. i wish i was like my cat potato. i wish no one looks at me, it.
its sunday, im home alont because im ill. eveyrone's gone to church but i cant go out. i dont wanna go out and im not allowed to go out. okay now for the emotional bit, i have this skin condition thats come back,eczema i think.
had it when i was small like 9years old? its really bad and NO i wont show you guys pictures of it. its affecting me quite alot. i dont wanna leave the house because im afraid of people staring at my skin. everytime i go out,i feel inferior like people are looking at me as if im a monster. i cry eveyrday , I KNOW you guys are gonna tell me not to dwell etc. but you know im really TRYING to be strong. its really ugly. just writing bout this now is making me cry again..
im going to the skin specialist tomorrow. i really really pray and hope that i'll be well ASAP!
i cant take this anymore. and the worst part is that its even on my face now. it started at my leg, then hands then now face, body got a bit. its constantly oozing liquid, some are extra dry, it hurts . and always itchy! (i duno, dun ask me)
I wish i was a doctor... :(
Im so ugly now.
this is so suffering...i feel so conscious bout it,everyone's probably disgusted and all..
i cant live a normal life... im stuck at home...cant eat all my favorite food..
sometimes i wonder why do i have this problem.

i'm the only one in my family to have skin problem... it cant be inheritable then. something went wrong in one of my genes. oh well...

im sorry chelle i havent replied ur email. and yeowen and kat i promised to blog bout this, so here you go..

my family and boyfriend have been very supportive though, like whenevr i cry or feel really inferior tehy would pray for me or encourage me.
i dont wanna go out. i dont want anyone to see me like this. i dotn even wanna look into the mirror. my self esteem droppped down to ... i dont even know where it went now.
and every morning i wake up my eyes will be swollen cos i have some on my eyelids thus affecting my eyes. i think the water went into my eyes. its inevitable. i dont know what to do *tears...
okay i shall stop it now.i dunno where this post is going... so i'l just stop.